andrew dodson

I’ve been thinking about writing about singleness for a while, but have yet to do so - until now.  It’s a personal subject, and sometimes, posts like these can be difficult to put on a blog for all to see.  I didn’t really know what to write about, so I’ve settled on an idea.  I’m going to write about everything.  You’ll see what I mean…

For the better part of my adult life, I’ve been single.  Since high school, I’ve only dated a few girls for longer than a few months.  I’ve had a lot of first dates, several second and third dates, and there’s been a few girls that I’ve dated for a short while.  But, none of them have “panned out” to being a long, committed relationship moving toward marriage.  I’ve ended some of these relationships, and some have been ended by the girl.  Fortunately, it hasn’t been one sided!  Have I ever been “in love?”  I don’t think so.

Being single definitely has its ups and downs.  Do I get lonely sometimes?  Yeah.  Do I like doing what I want, when I want?  Yeah.  I’ve been able to experience a lot that life has to offer because I’m not married.  Then again, I haven’t been able to experience what life is like with “the one.”  For the most part, when I look back at what I’ve experienced so far, I’ve been glad to be single.  There are several things that I never would’ve had the chance to experience if I were married.

Am I looking for a relationship?  Not actively.  What does that mean?  I don’t go looking to meet girls.  You won’t find me at bars on the weekends, or striking up conversations with girls at Starbucks or the grocery store.  On average, I might meet one new girl each month.  Maybe.  I’ll talk to her and get to know her, and if I like her, I might ask her out.  I’m open to being in a relationship, but “not actively” looking for a relationship.  If it happens, it happens.

From a Christian standpoint, the first letter to the Corinthians tells me it’s good to be single, and to remain as I am.  My focus can be on God alone and doing His work.  I realize I need to do my part, but I also know that in God’s timing and if it is His will for me, He’ll bring the right person into my life.  A common question from some single Christians is, “did I miss my chance?”  As in, did they let the person God had for them get away?  I’ve had this thought about a few girls (no, I won’t tell you who), but in the end, I can’t see something being God’s will for me and having it not work out.  I can’t see God saying, “sorry, you had your chance and you blew it!  Have fun being single for the rest of your life!”  God works all things to the purpose of His will.  If it’s His will, it’ll work itself out.

For humor’s sake, I thought I’d throw out a few things I’ve heard in my life as a single person…

• “You’re a great guy, but…” - a classic start to the “I don’t want to see you anymore” sentence.
• “I’m not looking for a relationship right now” - why did you say yes to the previous four dates?
• “That’s why you’re still single.” - after saying something obnoxious about females or relationships.
• “Are you gay?” - hardly.
• “Everyone else your age is married and having kids…” - good for them!
• “What’s wrong with you?” - is that a rhetorical question?
• “Gotta date this weekend?” - nine times out of ten, the answer to this will be no.  Even if it’s yes, I may tell you no because I don’t want to answer all of your questions about the girl and how we met and where’s she’s from and what she looks like and what she does for a living and….
• “What about so-and-so?” - I’m either not interested, she’s not interested, or we’ve already tried.  Otherwise, we’d be together.

There you have it.  My take on the single life.